Anyone in Need of a Kick to the Pants?

*Note: So, we wrote this blog yesterday, intending Wednesday to be our weekly "Kick in the Pants Day," but thanks to blogger & their "servers" & "networks" & "minions," it didn't work/happen. So, a day late, but you can thank blogger for that. Better yet, you can help us give a good old fashioned kick in the pants to blogger. KICK

It's official. Due to the amount of insane people in this world, ourselves included, we have declared Wednesdays to be "Kick in the Pants Day." So please join us every Wednesday as we hand out kicks to those who's pants need a kickin'.

Utah Weather: Seriously, man. It's June. It was 88 degrees yesterday. That means I shouldn't have to wear a jacket to work today & that it shouldn't be snowing in the mountains. It's been in the 40s all day, and that is unacceptable! I want some sun! Some warmth! Get it together & get with the times! I except some much warmer temperatures by this weekend so I can go swimming. Ai't? KICK

American Media: Are we seriously going to be getting Paris-updates every day she's in the big house? We don't care! And neither do you. Remember when the A.P ignored Paris for a week, and nobody noticed and/or cared? That means we don't want to hear about her every move/wardrobe choice/insipid utterance in daily-update form just because she's an idiot and landed herself in prison. In fact, if we never heard anything about her again, we'd lay at your feet and kiss your ink stained toes. So have some dignity, for crying out loud! She's not interesting & does nothing noteworthy with her life. Just quit her, cold turkey. Nobody will feel the loss. KICK

People who take board games way too seriously: You know who you are. You're the folks who ruin good, innocent, family time fun for everybody. You take a simple game of Cranium, Taboo, or, God forbid, Uncle Wiggly and turn it into a bloodthirsty grudge match. It's just not necessary. Take that misplaced anger and use it for good. Like ignoring Paris Hilton with all your might. KICK

Murgs's dog: Ok, so you're adorable. But no amount of adorable will make up for your eating half a tube of Avon lip balm, plastic and all, and keep your human companions up all night fretting about the state of your bowels. Especially after all the money we've spent maintaining your butt, and disposing of its worms and anal sac fluids. It's been expensive and unpleasant, Kurt. A stern "bad dog!" and a kick in the metaphorical pants to you, sir. KICK

Man, we're exhausted. That's all we have in us for today. Tune in next week, and if, in your adventures & daily treading, you come across somebody who needs some kickin', let us know. We'll be happy take care of that for you. And if not, at least leave us some flippin' comments! We know who you are! We know you read this! We need validation, dang it!! KICK

Out of Order

We'll be back to blogging tomorrow...as soon as we un-bury ourselves out of the piles of crap on our desks.

(photo courtesy of kat @ good...and good for you.)

That's...not hot.

So we're going to make an educated prediction here and say that badgers are going to be the hot new pet-cessories for fall. They're cute, fuzzy, fit conveniently in an oversized Louis Vitton handbag, and according to wikipedia, can fight off bears. Pretty protection is their game. We'd like to see a chihuahua handle that! Oh, and they're known to carry rabies. But everybody knows that frothing at the mouth totally burns calories. I mean, just look at this guy:He's so sad! He knows what's comin' to him and his friends. You might think badgers just lurk around, badgering things, but they see everything! This little guy knows what's coming to him! He knows that it won't be too long before he ends up in some fluffy Dolce & Gabbana creation, wandering the streets of L.A. in an exclusive Louis Vitton, badger-sized creation with no other than one Jailbird Hilton as it's fruffy & careless owner. This is not the life a badger should lead. Poor badger, poor vicious badger.