Out of Order

We'll be back to blogging tomorrow...as soon as we un-bury ourselves out of the piles of crap on our desks.

(photo courtesy of kat @ good...and good for you.)

The Good & the Bad of Lean Cuisine

One of the great things about being a working girl these days is the nice lunch break in the middle of the day. You get to relax, do some impulse shopping on the city streets, & stuff you face full of whatever they serve at that great restaurant down a few city blocks from your place of employment. Well...it's one of the great fantasies about being a working girl. In reality, your hour lunch break is spent running errands, emptying your bank account to pay your dog's $500 vet bills, & quickly scarfing down whatever finds its way to your mouth. Don't believe what "Sex in the City" tells you about being a working girl. It's akin to believing that high school would be exactly like what they portrayed in "Saved by the Bell" that you watched on a weekly basis when you were 10, falling in love with Zack Morris, wanting to be Kelly Kapowski, admiring Jessie Spano ("I'm so excited! I'm so...scared!") for her opinionated & feminist personality, and not being able to wait until high school started! Lies. All lies!!

Ahem. Our point being that our working-girl lunch-hours pass quickly & stressfully. So what is our preferred choice of lunch? Lean Cuisine meals. They're not too expensive & some of them are quite tasty! They are a smaller portion, and sometimes we are left hungry an hour after lunch. However, sometimes they hit the spot. But most of the time, it's just what we have to eat. And like. Here's our list of great Lean Cuisine meals, so-so dishes, & flat-out wouldn't-touch-it-with-a-plastic-spatula creations:

So good! Your taste buds won't know what hit them:

• Any of the pizzas, especially the Margherita Pizza.
• Most of their Italian dishes are pretty darn great, like the Cheese Lasagna Florentine Bake.
• The classic Macaroni & Cheese. It's delicious!
• Roasted Potatoes, Broccoli, and Cheddar Cheese Sauce. It's lighter & won't keep you from going hungry all afternoon, but it's still quite yummy.
• Three Cheese Stuffed Rigatoni...there's nothing to be said of it's greatness. Just eat it & be delighted.
• Most of the chicken dishes are pretty safe, and even delicious, like the Grilled Chicken Primavera and the Chicken Carbonara. To. Die. For.

Eh. They'll do the job:

• The Chicken Fettucini is ai't. It kind of tastes diety, if you know what I mean.
• The Asian food collection is also a little iffy. Sometimes it just isn't enough (Vegetable Eggroll) and a little under flavored, or it's just way too overpowering for the small portion sizes (Chicken in Peanut Sauce)
• Their panini selection has potential, but falls a bit short. While they do taste yummy, like the Southwest-style Chicken Panini, their new-fangled, space-age grilling mechanism it comes with is suppose to grill the panini in the microwave, and it lies. They would taste better actually grilled, but instead are a little soft & flimsy.

Don't even think about it, unless you're planning on using that cyanide capsule you've kept around in case of emergencies:

• Chicken with Almonds. This falls under the too-much-Asian-Flavor found above, but really goes overboard to the point of nastiness.
• Anything with beef in it. The worst culprits are the Salisbury Steak and the Spaghetti and Meatballs. Remember that iron-y tasting stuff they slopped onto your tray in elementary school? It's like that.

An Open Letter to Oprah Winfrey

Dear Oprah.
We bet you're surprised to hear from us Oprah. We've had our differences in the past. There was that little James Frey mishap, that whole Dr. Phil period, and the fact that you opened a school in Africa instead of helping kids out on the South Side of your own city of residence. But, Oprah, darling, we've been considering you, your warm heart, your soft, downy arms, and your massive, massive wealth, and we've decided to let bygones be bygones. We only have one condition. You have to adopt us.

Now Oprah, we are not dumb. We know you get heart breaking supplications on a regular basis, but this will be of great benefit, not just to us, but to you, as well. And don't worry. We're not talking about some trendy, law-bending foreign adoption, a la Madonna or Angelina. We're offering our all-American, whip-smart, responsible adult services to you. Think about it, Oprah. You have seven houses. Seven! You can't even in your most omniscient state occupy them all at once, even with the help of Stedman & Gail. We would be more than happy to house-sit them for you and make sure the food in those well stocked fridges doesn't go bad. We can even take some of that pesky money off your hands. Make no mistake. We're not greedy. We just have the common needs of a pleb. Credit card needs, student debt needs, and, occasionally, gold-plated toilet needs.

Oprah, if you're still not convinced, we'll sweeten the deal. Nama and Murgs humbly offer you their immortal souls to do with as you please. And while Murgs' is a little battered and overly-handled, Nama's is as pristine as an angel's toenail, perfect for cushioning your head while you sleep or for removing stubborn eye makeup. It's a once in a lifetime deal, Oprah. We hope you'll consider it.

With love,
Nama & Murgs